Finding Your Passion

Returning to work after maternity leave has been very difficult for me. I find no enjoyment in my work anymore and I dread having to drop the baby off at daycare in the morning and go into work. While I'm at work, all I think about is getting to leave work and go and pick him up from daycare. I struggle to find motivation to do work while I'm at work, and I definitely have no motivation to do work while I'm at home. As a teacher, this is not a great situation as we are almost required to do work at home.

So what do I do? 

I have been having very strong feelings about being a stay at home parent. I feel compelled to find a way to make it work and be able to stay home with my baby (and any future babies). The feelings have been freaking me out a little bit, but then I realized something.

Do you know when people say they have a "calling" in life? Most of the time this is associated with a religious position (priest, etc), at least it has been in my life. The more I think about it, the more I feel like these thoughts and feelings that I am having are my calling. I do practice religion, and the more time that goes by, the more I think that a greater being is trying to tell me that I need to find a way to be a stay at home parent. 

I have no idea how I am going to make this happen. I don't know if it will have something to do with this blog, or my love of crafting, or my degrees in teaching. What I do know is that in 2019, living on one income is almost impossible, although we could make it work. The problem is health insurance. My school district provides AMAZING benefits with amazingly low premiums. I cannot just walk away from this without a way to make up for what we would be loosing with regard to insurance. 

What I do know, is that I feel more convicted every day, to find a way to make this calling my reality.