Finding Your Passion

Returning to work after maternity leave has been very difficult for me. I find no enjoyment in my work anymore and I dread having to drop the baby off at daycare in the morning and go into work. While I'm at work, all I think about is getting to leave work and go and pick him up from daycare. I struggle to find motivation to do work while I'm at work, and I definitely have no motivation to do work while I'm at home. As a teacher, this is not a great situation as we are almost required to do work at home.

So what do I do? 

I have been having very strong feelings about being a stay at home parent. I feel compelled to find a way to make it work and be able to stay home with my baby (and any future babies). The feelings have been freaking me out a little bit, but then I realized something.

Do you know when people say they have a "calling" in life? Most of the time this is associated with a religious position (priest, etc), at least it has been in my life. The more I think about it, the more I feel like these thoughts and feelings that I am having are my calling. I do practice religion, and the more time that goes by, the more I think that a greater being is trying to tell me that I need to find a way to be a stay at home parent. 

I have no idea how I am going to make this happen. I don't know if it will have something to do with this blog, or my love of crafting, or my degrees in teaching. What I do know is that in 2019, living on one income is almost impossible, although we could make it work. The problem is health insurance. My school district provides AMAZING benefits with amazingly low premiums. I cannot just walk away from this without a way to make up for what we would be loosing with regard to insurance. 

What I do know, is that I feel more convicted every day, to find a way to make this calling my reality. 

Cookie Countdown - Day 2

"Day 2": 2-Ingredient Chocolate-Peanut Butter Truffles

It was a bit ambitious of me to think I could make a new recipe each day, so I will likely be doing an every other day challenge. As a result, here is the second recipe of the #PillsburyCookieCountdown

At first when this recipe appeared in my inbox, I thought "Truffles? That is way too complicated for me". Truffles seem so sophisticated, elegant, intricate, I figured that there was no way a home baker with my skill level would be able to make these. Boy was I wrong! These were extremely easy and created a dessert that I feel very proud of!

Cost

• 1 roll (16.5 oz) Pillsbury refrigerated peanut butter cookies -- $3.29
• 1 bag (12 oz) semisweet chocolate chips (2 cups) -- $0.00

Total Cost: $3.29

Due to a store promotion I was able to get the bag of semisweet chocolate chips for free by purchasing the bag of dark chocolate chips for the day one recipe.

Expectation vs. Reality

This recipe created 30 truffles, as opposed to the 24 called for by the recipe. However, unlike the ganache from the first recipe, the amount of melted chocolate was much more reasonable for coating the truffles. Although there was some extra, I do not think that making less would have been successful due to the nature of needing to cover the entire truffle.

Verdict

As I said at the beginning of the post, I was pleasantly surprised with the ease of this recipe and they taste pretty great as well! I am not a huge peanut butter and chocolate fan, but the two flavors are well balances in these truffles. Additionally, they are small enough to just pop in your mouth, making them easy and mess free to eat.

For "Day 3", the recipe is for a Holiday 7-Layer Bar, which has a fairly large number of ingredients but will hopefully not be too difficult to put together.

Happy baking!

Cookie Countdown - Day 1

A month or so ago, I saw on Facebook or Instagram, that Pillsbury was going to be doing a "Cookie Recipe a Day Countdown". I love to bake, but I always end up making the same thing so I figured I would sign up to receive the daily e-mails (plus a bunch of other ones along the way) and try and bake a new cookie each day.

I wanted to document my baking extravaganza here so I would be able to look back on the recipes I liked, or wasn't fond of, and remember a little bit more about each cookie, the cost of ingredients, time and difficulty, etc. I often feel like recipes say one thing, or call for specific amounts of ingredients, but then when I follow the recipe it is always just a little bit off from what they claim. So I want to document those things here as well.

If you'd like to join me on this adventure, click here, and sign up! I will mention that the e-mails don't come into my inbox until around 3:00pm, so I will be a day "behind" on the cookie making. I would love to hear and see your successes in the comments!

On to the cookies!

Day 1: Chocolate-Cherry Thumbprint Cookies

This is definitely not a recipe I would normally make, as I don't really know how I feel about maraschino cherries. However, it was the first recipe to come to my e-mail, so make them I did!

The first thing I will mention is that prior to beginning this adventure I did go out a buy a cookie dough scoop from Bed, Bath & Beyond (click here). I purchased both the small and medium sized scoops and I was amazed at how well they worked. I can't believe I have gone so long without having these in my life, but I would highly recommend making this purchase if you plan to make a lot of cookies.

As far as cost for this recipe, here was the breakdown I ended up paying for the ingredients. Ingredients with a price of $0.00 were ones that I already had at home.

• 1 roll (16.5 oz) Pillsbury refrigerated sugar cookies -- $3.29
• unsweetened baking cocoa -- $0.00
• 4 oz cream cheese -- $0.00
• dark chocolate chips -- $2.49 (on sale from $2.91)
• heavy cream -- $2.85
• butter -- $0.00
• maraschino cherries -- $1.47

Total Cost: $10.10

Expectation vs. Reality

The recipe asks for balls of cookie dough that are 1.5" in diameter. For this I used the small cookie scoop and ended up with 36 cookies, instead of the 24 the recipe claimed to make. Mine turned out pretty identical to the picture on the website, so I am fairly sure I sized them correctly. I'm not too upset about this because otherwise I would have had half a jar of left over maraschino cherries. Instead I only had five extra.

The other major difference between the recipe and what I feel I actually needed is the chocolate ganache. The recipe calls for 3/4 cup dark chocolate chips. If I were to make this recipe again I would only use half a cup and adjust the other ingredients accordingly. I had WAY too much ganache for the number of cookies I made, and remember I even had a dozen more than the recipe originally intended!

This was a fairly easy recipe that didn't take much time, which was great given that I have a six and a half month old who requires much of my attention. To ensure even baking I rotated and switched the position of the pans in the oven half way through the baking time. 

Verdict

These are a great two bite cookie. The cherry is nice as it cuts through the otherwise intense chocolate flavor. They also turned out perfectly soft and chewy, which is the way I like my cookies! I would say the first day was a success!

The "Day 2" e-mail came in while I was baking and it looks like tomorrow will be 2-Ingredient Peanut Butter-Chocolate Truffles.

Happy baking!

Running out of Time

This has been one of the least relaxing summers of my life. And yes, I know I am very fortunate to have a job that gives me the summers off, and I could have been working the entire summer, but I am still allowed to feel as if my summer wasn't relaxing. Between graduate school, bathroom renovations, and simply the fact that it was the first summer of being a home owner, time just slipped away from me and now I am looking at a mere two weeks until I have students back in my classroom, papers to grade, and days without naps.

The current graduate school course I am taking is by far the most intensive course I have taken thus far in my program. The assignments are much more time consuming and there are far more of them than in any of the other courses. This is extremely frustrating because I am spending so much time working on my own school work, that I have been seriously neglecting the HUGE list of things I need to get done for actual school (which starts in two weeks remember).

My most recent frustration is the fact that this course has had two MAJOR projects. It feels like I just finished the first one and the second one is already due. Matters are more complicated because now I am having to go into school for training days before the year starts and so my time is becoming even more limited. Additionally, Eric and I are trying very hard to get the bathroom renovation completed (or nearly completed) before the school year starts because we have more time now. I know in a lot of ways my procrastination does not help matters, but I am still feeling frustrated and unable to find any motivation to get work done.

In good news, I did manage to get all of my syllabi written and sent to the copy center. So, at the very least I will have a syllabus to pass out when school starts. I have a training tomorrow at school and I am planning on going in just a bit early and planning out my bulletin board so I know what supplies I need to purchase. My plan is to go into school Friday this week for a few hours before my parents come into town and get that bulletin board completely set up. I will try and remember to take pictures and post them here for you to see.

I need to take Pippin out for his afternoon walk and then seriously buckle down and get some of this project done. I will be in trainings the next two days so I want to get a sizable chunk done today so I have less to stress about the rest of the week. Plus this weekend is shot because my parents will be in town so I really need to try and have everything done by Friday afternoon. Wish me luck!

Until next time,
C

Getting Back on Track

Overall, I was quite successful in accomplishing the items on my to-do list from my last post. I am writing this as a break from graduate school course work. I have found that taking a ten minute break when I feel I need it, often helps me be more successful than trying to push through the feeling and continuously work on the task. The only thing I did not get finished from my list was mowing the lawn. I was able to get it half way done, but then a large hail storm rolled through and with the ground being so wet, I was unable to get the second half mowed. Since then it has rained (down poured) every six to eight hours. I need to find time today to finish mowing, otherwise it will be too long and the portions I just mowed will need mowed again. Today the weather has been quite sunny and so hopefully the ground will dry out enough that I can try and finish mowing this afternoon (provided I finish my school work).

Getting my to-do list accomplished helped me to feel more like myself. It also helped that I baked a new recipe the other day, Lemon Shortbread Cookies. I struggled tremendously with getting the dough stiff enough to roll out, and I ended up baking the cookies in one large sheet and then cutting them at the end, but they taste yummy and that is was matters. I love to bake and be in my kitchen, and with Eric's new job and new work schedule, I have been thrown off and not spending as much time baking and cooking as I need to.

Next week, in addition to continuing with my course work, I NEED to start preparing for the school year. The first student day is three weeks from Monday, and although three weeks seems like a lot of time, I know it is going to fly by. Especially with all of the activities we have planned over the next three weeks, not to mention the summer training days I will be attending at school.

I know it will be hard for me to focus on school work next week though because my maid of honor is coming into town for a few days to see our house and visit/catch up. Hopefully she will be getting engaged soon and so this may be the last time I see her before that happens! We are both getting ready to go through some big life changes and it is always great to catch up. We are both high school math teachers, so we always have plenty to talk about!

The day she is slated to arrive I will be spending the morning visiting with my mentor from my first year of teaching. She has become one of my dearest friends and I do not do a good enough job keeping in touch as I need to. My heart will be full next week, so hopefully that will provide me with the necessary motivation to get myself in gear and start getting ready for this school year. I know a lot will be happening this school year and so I need to find my motivation early and hang on to it for dear life. I have set some professional goals for myself, but I might talk about them in a later post.

For now, it's back to school work. I forgot how time consuming being a student can be.

Until next time,
~C

Out of Sorts

I haven't been feeling myself lately. Usually the summertime is when I am able to get back to my passions. I am less stressed and feeling better than during the throws of the school year. Maybe it is the fact that I am working on course work for my Master's degree, or all of the construction Eric and I have been working on in the house, but this summer does not feel as rejuvenating as past summers have felt.

I often have this overwhelming heaviness that seems to be weighing me down and I can't seem to shake it. Eric is extremely stressed with work. He started a new position in February and is getting ready to open a new clinic for his new company and, in typical Eric fashion, is extremely stressed and constantly worrying about how everything will play out. In addition to worry about our bathroom remodel project, which has taken a turn for the worse over the past week.

Long story short, we tiled the floor, but may have to end up ripping it all out and hiring someone else to come in and re-lay the tile. Needless to say, we have already pour a significant amount of money into this project, and having to buy new tile and pay someone to come in and re-tile something we already tiled was not necessarily in the budget (nor the timeline).

I had actually been feeling more normal about a week ago. I made the decision to get back into meal planning, which I had seriously gotten away from. Trying new recipes in the kitchen was always something that provided me a stress release, and I truly enjoy the process. Just when I was starting to feel back to my normal self, the issue with the floor arose, and that has set me back.

I also feel like I am quickly running out of time. Today is the first of August, which means I got back to work this month, and the students will be back in my classroom in less than thirty days. I have been putting off lesson planning all summer (my graduate work has been keeping me plenty busy), but now that it is crunch time, I have so many activities planned, in addition to my graduate course work that I am beginning to panic about getting everything done in time.

I needed to get these thoughts and feelings out, in hopes that it will help me be more productive with my to-do list for today:

TO-DO: August 1st

• Module 2 & 3 Activity Logs
• Clean mortar off tile in bathroom
• Mow lawn
• Feed & Water outdoor plants
• Cut and bundle fallen branches

This list may not seem very long, it's only five items and I am home all day. However, my graduate work this week is very intensive, and after I finish Module 2 & 3, I still have Module 4 AND a 4-5 page paper to write. My negative attitude is not helping, but I am having a very difficult time shaking the weight off my heart. 

Perhaps I will take Pippin outside to play with him for a bit to try and lift my spirits. Regardless, I need to get my nose back to the grindstone. Before I go, I want to leave you with the recipe I made for dinner last night. It was delicious and a definite Pinterest win!

The recipe is for an Italian Sausage and Rice Casserole from Well Plated. I used Italian seasoned chicken sausage I had in the freezer, but I am sure any Italian seasoned sausage would work well. One of the other things I have been trying to do is use up the food we have in the house, rather than always buying all new ingredients. The meal also received Eric's vote of approval, which is rare, so it must be good!

Until next time,

~C

I Create ... the next step

The second day of Yoga Camp is the mantra of "I Create". I create a lot of things each day. I create worksheets, lessons, meals, laughter, etc. But this is obviously not the purpose of the "I Create" mantra.

The place that I took the mantra during my yoga practice was to create the vision for my future. Over the last five (plus) years, I have often struggled with knowing whether or not I had chosen the correct profession. The more time I spend in education, the more I know that it is the right profession, but I am still not sure if classroom teacher is where I am going to end up.

As I was working through the "I Create" practice, I decided to meditate on what I want to create for my future, and my families future. Through this meditation I was able to focus on what I really hope to be able to accomplish in education moving forward. I was also able to create a plan to reach some of these future goals.

And so comes the next step. I have applied and been accepted to a master degree program. This is absolutely terrifying for me. It has been six years since I was a college student, and it has been four years since I have taken a graduate level course. And now, I am diving in head first to two years of courses, papers, assignments and discussion posts. It's not that bad you may say, but I also know that I am getting ready to enter into what are panning out to be the two craziest years of my life. A new house. Starting a family. Life is not going to be slowing down, and now I'm adding another item to the list.

At times, the idea of accomplishing all of these goals I have set is overwhelming, but I have decided to create a space in my mind where I will be able to find peace and motivation to reach my goals. I know that in the end I will be better off and my family will be better off in the long run.

So I challenge you, if you are reading this, to create a plan to accomplish the goals that you want to accomplish. There is no wish to big, no idea to crazy, nothing to hold you back except for yourself. So create in whatever way to create means to you.

Until our next adventure,
C