Excitement and Fear: Two Sides of the Same Blade

One of the most exciting times in our lives began about a month ago and will be continuing for the next... unknown number of months. Something that I have been wanting so badly for the last five years is finally starting to become a reality. And although I am extremely excited and grateful at the way that our lives are headed, I am also terrified.

Eric and I have always wanted to move back to Pennsylvania (more specifically out of Delaware) and now it would seem that will be happening within the next six months. Eric has been applying to new clinics and going on very successful interviews. We have explored cities and towns where we could potentially be moving to, and every adventure has been filled with excitement and anticipation. 

This is what we want, this is what I want, this is what will move us on the path toward our future: a house, kids, being settled closer to family and friends. And yet in the quiet moments when I am by myself my excitement and anticipation is coupled with a near crippling fear. This is it. I have felt stuck in limbo for so long, an adult on my own, but not truly grown up. And now that the fog is lifting I'm afraid? How does that make any sense? 

Part of my fear stems from the daunting task of moving so far, to yet another new place. I have never been a fan of change (even when it is something that I have wanted). The uncertainty and uneasiness of it all is just uncomfortable for me to deal with. I do not enjoy having to learn new roads, new businesses, new rules about new places, and meeting new people. Beginning over again is not something that I was good at because it was not something that I ever really had to do before I moved to Delaware five years ago and got my first "big girl job". Even with transitioning between three school, five apartments, and three cities/towns it is still scary and uncomfortable for me.

But I am trying to look on the bright side, focus on the positives, and trust that this is the right move, the right path to follow, the last real transition. And that is exciting.

I will likely post more updates as this process continues and of course still try to continue my cooking/baking/crafting posts, but I am looking forward to this journey and I hope that it is quick, smooth, and as painless as can be.

On a Pinterest note, I tried making mug french toast this morning. FAIL. Well, not a total fail, but I would not ever make it again. Real french toast is the only way to be.