There will be quite a bit of negativity in this post. If you don't want to read it, stop now.
I am currently about one-third of the way through my fifth year of teaching. I remember being in the throws of my student teaching experience and the mentor teachers telling us that the first three years would be really challenging, but then in the fourth year you really hit your groove. I think in a lot of ways I have hit that groove. I am much more efficient at lesson planning (kind of) and grading. I also feel more confident with the decisions that I make in my classroom and when I'm planning. Where I do not feel "in the groove" is the overwhelming sense of dread and impending doom I feel nearly every morning as I drag myself out of bed before the sun.
I have often thought, as much as I believe that teaching is the right career choice for me, there are just as many reasons why I feel it is the last thing I should be doing with my life. Now, I understand that restarting at three different schools in the first five years (due to moving around to accommodate the start of Eric's career and his schooling) has not made this any easier. Nor has the simple fact that I have put myself into some pretty tough schools (student population). However, kids are kids, and I really believe that if this was my true calling I would be much happier than I am.
Eric and I are currently in the process of discussing another move (a big one). This move will take us closer to family, and hopefully allow us to purchase a home, and start a family of our own. With this discussion I have started to have the scary thought of changing careers. If I am moving and starting over in my personal life, maybe a parallel change in my professional life is also in order.
It seems that with my current career dissatisfaction, the chance to start again would be welcomed with joy and open arms. And it is... sort of. But I went to school to be a teacher, so trying to figure out what else I am qualified to do, or even what I am interested in is daunting. There are many career counseling programs, and Eric has even used Rockport Institute when he was questioning his career choice. But I cannot justify spending the money it would require to go through their program.
So, as a human living in the 21st century I naturally have turned to the internet for advice. So far I have read a few articles that made me feel ... better (?) about wanting to leave teaching. I also very much enjoyed "Leaving Teaching" from Word Press. But it is very challenging to decide what to do with the next step in my life, when I don't even really know the geographical location I am headed.
If you have ever gone through a career change, and you have any advice or wisdom to share, I am all ears. In the mean time, please enjoy these baby alpacas.
~C
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